NARUTO CRACK
by KOHANAISYOURMASTER
Summary: YAOI PORN! Good, now that I have you attention, pure crack, what happens AFTER the camras stop rolling? MENTIONS OF SASUNARU,KAKAIRU,GAALEE,SHINOKIBA,AND SHIKAOC! JUST SLIGHTLY MESSED UP!...depending on your point of veiw...


Naruto CRACK

**Kohana:Pure crack,what happens AFTER the camras stop rolling? Staring ME AND KIRA!**

**Kira:...Or maybe I'll just kill them all before they get to read...**

**Kohana:...Kira,you can't kill our readers...**

**Kira:And why not?**

**Kohana:...It's illigal, sis.**

**Kira:So?**

**Kohana:-_-'...Your hopless...**

**Kira: -^w^-**

**Kohana:...Itachi-sama likes me more...**

**Kira:0.o(Runs to emo-cornor.)**

**Kohana:-^w^- And, yesh, I did write that song. Tell me if you like it!**  
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAND...CUT!" Kishimoto yelled while sitting cross-legged in his big fancy director's chair. The actors sighed and streached, walking over to their trailors and bath-houses.

"Damn slave-driver."Naruto Uzumaki muttered as his boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha, mearly grunted and gagged when he say his older brother, Itachi, and the blue fish-man, Kisume, fervorativly making out ontop of one of the gory battle sceans.

"KOHANA! KIRA!" Kishimoto yelled, jumping when the two girls appeared infront of him.

"Yes, Kishimoto-san?" Kohana, the one with black hair that has blue tips and blue eyes with golden flecks asked.

"What, old man?" The ruder, older Kira asked, who has red hair with inky black strips and emrald-green eyes, picking at a scab on her arm.

Kishimoto sweat-dropped at the two's oppisite natures, even thought they were twins."Girls," he said, laying his hands on their shoulders. "the public wants more."

"More what, sir?" Kohana asked, looking at him with innocent eyes, gentally pushing the hand off of her.

"Yeah, old man, more what? They got blood, they got gore, they got drama, they got a half-way hidden love-story that has PLENTY angust, what more could those dumbass people want?"Kira asked, throwing her hands on her hips after twisting the older man's skin intell he jumped back.

_'Deal with her, she's the only way that Kohana will stay, don't have Kakashi poison her for a 15% raise...Must remember that one for when I quit.'_ Kishimoto slapped his hands together, ignoring a sharp pain from his left hand(which was the hand that Kira had twisted), and said,"It has been proven that more and more people that watch 'Naruto' are...well, like you."

"You mean that they are girls that like to see hot-ass dudes go at it, and not the fighting way." Kira said, sitting down on a poor dude that was behind her picking up trash from the battle scean. The man wimpered, knowing better than to ask her to get off.

"Ummmm, you could say that..." Kishimoto said, noticing the way that Kira was eyeing him and his assistant, who was a (atmittedly) cute uke-faced male. "Well, the network wants you two to use your, ummmmmm, ninja skills to take recordings of the boys off-camra. Please,girls? I'll give you a 20% raise."

The two shared a look, glanced back at Kishimoto, and purred out, "Well, since your begging OH-SO pittifully...Make it a 30% raise, throw in our names in the creidts, and let us have keys to ALL the trailers, and you got yourself a deal."

Kishimoto comically cryed as he nodded, thinking as the 'twins of pure untainted evil' happily shook hands and skipped away, _'What have I done?'_

***-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-7 hours later*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**

"Kishimoto-san...Kishimoto-san...wakey-wakey..."

"Sis, your way isn't working. Let's try mine."

"We are NOT going to stab the boss's ass with a rusty metal spork."

"...Well, damn, take out all the fun then. Soooooooooo, let's try this...WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU OLD GOAT-FACED MAN! WE GOT THAT DAMN VIDEO, SO GIVE US OUR DAMN RAISES, CREIDTS, AND KEYS!"

Kishimoto screamed as he jumped out of his bed and did a funny ninja Imma-gonna-kill-ya-with-my-eyelash pose. He then sat back down when he noticed that it was just the twins.

"No." They said after critacully eyeing his pose. "Just no."

"Oh goddess, I was having a terrible dream. I dreamed that there was a WORLD of Kiras and half of them were trying to rape me and the other half was trying to kill me." Kishimoto said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

Kira snorted as she threw a pile of disks on his bed,muttering as she walked out, "Not even in your DREAMS would I try to rape you. I would just kill you." She looked back at her younger sister and said, "Little one, we're leaving."

"Yes, nii-san!" Kohana happily said after she had tucked Kishimoto back in and neatly stacked the disk on the bed-side table. "Good bye, Kishimoto-san!" She yelled behind her, running after her sister.

Kishimoto put in a CD and jumped when he saw Kohana, Kiba, Lee(without his wig and fake eyebrows on. He's actually a good-looking kid), Iruka, and Naruto all ontop of a stage in a bar and wearing sexy outfits. A title appeared in blue that said **"The day they got their man."**

Again, Kishimoto-sensai jumped when Kohana opened her eyes and looked straight into the camra, and sang

"Don't give me a question,  
Don't tell me a lie,  
Don't hold me when I cry,  
Don't ask me for good-bye.

Why are you always there,  
when I cry?"

Kishimoto noticed the ashamed look that Shikamaru's face had on it as Kiba looked into the camra as Kohana's head lowered and he sang,

"You know of my innocence,  
you know of my mind.  
So why do you torchure me,  
with all these good-byes?

Will you still be there,  
when I die?"

A close-up reveiled the tears in Shino's eyes as Kiba's head fell back to his chest and Lee looked up and sang,

"You seem to love all of these people.  
Why do I care?  
Why do i cry,

when your not there?

Why does your touch,  
make me wanna cry?"

A snarl pulled on Gaara's lips and his eyes were locked on Lee as his head fell to the left and Iruka's head lifted and he sang, tears falling from his eyes,

"Why does it hurt me,  
When you go away?  
Do you even think of me,  
out through the day?

Will you run to her,  
if I die?"

Kakashi lost his care-free demonor, instead obtained a sobor, thoughtful one as Iruka looked to the sky and Naruto's head lifted, the golden boy singing out as tears freely flowed from his eyes.

"Do you know the pain,  
that you give?  
Can you see my sorrow,  
deep inside?

Would you run away,  
if I would really cry?"

Sasuke's face grew hard and worn as all five singers' head snapped toward them and they sang,

"You said you loved me,  
said you'll never leave.  
But look what you did,  
it's lie again!

You said you adore me,  
said you wouldn't lie,  
But look again,  
it's still bye-bye-bye!"

They sharply held out their hands as the five rose and started making their way to the stage, singing harshly,

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING,  
I MIGHT FALL FOR IT AGAIN!"

The five more dominating males ignored the song and headed for the back-stage faster as the others on the stage sang again,

"DON'T TELL ME, YOU LOVE ME,  
I MIGHT FALL AGAIN!"

The five to who the song was made out to dissappeared around the cornor as the five on stage sang,

"You told me you loved me...

Looks liiiiiiike...

We fell again..."

With identacual sighs, they hurriedly disappeared around the curten and onto the back-stage. The video turns off and then shows five pictures. One is of Kohana and Shikamaru with their forheads pressed together and fingers intwinded. The next is of Kiba and Shino gentally kissing in their trailer. The one after is of Gaara harshly kissing Lee as the younger**(Yesh,in this, he is younger. Piss off)** boy held on to his now wrinkled black shirt. After that was a picture of a smirking Kakashi looming over a deeply blushing Iruka with his hand up the smaller one's shirt. And the last one had Kishimoto-san jump out of his bed and scream, "SASUKE AND NARUTO, GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE NOW!"

The reason for his outburst?

It was a picture of Sasuke pounding into Naruto while the smaller boy was holding on for dear life in the very bed that Kishimoto had been sleeping on for the last month, not changing the sheets ONCE. And the boys had been going out for close to 2 weeks.

But what REALLY pissed him off was that they boys had acted innocent when he asked if anyone knew what that weird stain on his bed was!

***-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**  
END!

**Kohana:Well, I like that ending very much! How about you, Nii-san?**

**Kira: Well, my little Imoto, I must say that I did to.(Pats Kohana's head for her perverted thinking.)**

**Kohana:-^w^- Thank you Nii-san, and isn't that Alrye-sempai coming this way?**

**Kira:0.0(Heads for the hills.)**

**Alrye:YOU CAN RUN, KIRA-CHAN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!(Runs after her with a chainsaw.)**

**Kohana&Naruto:0.0...Reveiw please?(Chases after the two to make sure that Alrye doesn't kill the killer(Kira means Muderer or, litterily, 'One that sheads blood'))**

**Sasuke:...hn...(Read's Alrye's and Hitoko's work of 'A demon's lover')0/0 X3!(Thinks,'I GET TO ACUALLY FUCK NARUTO INSTEAD OF JUST POSING IN THIS!)Just reveiw,damn it'll get her to shut up and might inspire a PWP(Porn Without Plot) from her...hn...**


End file.
